A Post for Wives- Are You a Blessing or a Bear?

Proverbs 31:26- She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

What is it about being comfortable with someone that causes us to think we can be so unguarded. This shows up so prominently is in marriage. We spend each day with our husband and it is easy to develop a sense of expectation that he will accept our responses and interactions no matter how prickly they can be. Yet we would never dare say those same comments or criticism with our girl friends. It seems we save our most gracious conduct for those we spend the least time with.

It takes being very intentional if we want to live up to the description of this text. When you open your mouth is kindness the pattern? Is what you say reflective of wise and purposeful thoughts? Do you bless your husband by what comes out of your mouth? Is he a better person because he conversed with you today? The reality is we are either blessing and building up or we are slowing destroying. Scripture also says that we speak out of what is in our heart. So what is motivating what you say?

"Are your words to and about you husband marked by "wisdom" and "kindness"? Or, do you instead use words as a form of control because you don't know how to, or just don't want to, have healthy conversations with your husband about your frustrations? When we speak disrespectfully, it is often because we are seeking to be in control, to manipulate or bully our husbands."-Grace Driscoll

So what most characterizes your speech? Are you a blessing or are you a bear? What does it look like when you open your mouth? These are hard things to consider and I write with the reality of knowing how guilty I have been in this myself.

Only 10: Man

"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to."

Mark Twain

Wisdom's Challenge

Our pictures of life are far too often like eating fast food, or like living under the shadow of a rule book, or like staring glassy eyed out into the third heaven waiting for "a word from the Lord".

Wisdom challenges all this. It says to us, warmly yet firmly, "Grow up!", " Mature!", "Move beyond childhood into adulthood!", "Use the mind God has given you!"

Wisdom is about learing to apply the gospel to every area of our thinking and doing. We will be tempted to justfy our ignorance and mental laziness by saying that we're trusting the Lord. We may even appeal to Proverbs 3:5-6 to defend this attitude. But that's not what Proverbs 3;5-6 is about. Rather, it encourages diligent, careful, prayerful, intelligent and enthusiastic exploration of life in the light of the gospel.

Excerpt from:
The Symphony of Scripture page 112

Only 10: The Greatest Privilege

"Knowing God is your single greatest privilege as a Christian."

Sinclair Ferguson

Mouth Watering

(This Tuesday, January 31, 2012 marks 120 years since Charles Haddon Spurgeon has been living "present with the Lord". I have been a benefactor of this man's legacy of faith which has made me love Christ more. My sincerest thanks to the Prince of Preachers.)


"There is no surer way of the getting of an appetite than seeing other people eating.
Let us enjoy the things of Christ so much that poor sinner's mouths will water-- 
and they will begin to ask; 

'What is this wonderful thing?'" C.H.Spurgeon

You make known to me the path of life; In Your presences is fullness of joy; In Your right hand there are pleasures forever.
Psalm 16:11

Only 10: Laziness

"Laziness isn't a personality style, it is a character flaw."

Dave Ramsey

The Passive Wrath of God

Recently I have been reading through the minor prophets. Since most of them are small books I have been reading them in one sitting to try and capture the big picture of what was going on.

Recently I found myself in the book of Amos. This book is pretty much a dreadful telling of what God was going to do to an idolotrous people who would not return to Him. Line after line speaks of unrelenting destruction that was to come. In the middle of all of this desolation there is something so significant I had to  stop and read it again. Of all the terrors coming their way this had to be the worst:

"Behold, the days are coming," declares the Lord GOD, "when I will send a famine on the land--not a famine of bread, nor a thirst for water, but of hearing the words of the LORD. They shall wander from sea to sea, and from north to east; they shall run to and fro, to seek the word of the LORD but they shall not find it."

This is the passive wrath of God.

Only 10: Grace

"Grace isn't opposed to effort, it is opposed to earning."


From a sermon by Mark Mitchell (not original), Pastor at Covenant Life Church

A Prayer for Resolvers

We are officially half way through the first month of the new year. How are your resolutions coming? Perhaps a little encouragement is due. Consider this prayer for you from Scripture.


To this end we always pray for you, that our God may make you worthy of his calling and may fulfill every resolve for good and every work of faith by his power. 
2 Thessalonians 1:11

Press on!

Only 10- (The Premier Launch)

Welcome to the very first Only 10. Only 10 is a mid-week mini post consisting of only ten words.

You see, it seems I am a collector of words and quotes. I have a file specifically for quotes I love. Books I read are underlined with single sentences that impacted me more than the book as a whole. I keep a notebook on me all the time where I write down one-liners that catch my attention. So I decided to share some here.  Each week I will share some of my favorite quotes or inspiring words that meet the word limit requirement. My hope is that it brings encouragement and inspiration to your day. 

Since we are at the beginning of a new year and many are setting goals and resolves. Here is one to encourage you along the way. From Wayne Gretzky remember:

“You miss 100  percent of the shots you never take.”

Blog Year in Review- My top 10

I have been amazed at how many take the time to stop by and read the blog. The comments and encouragements sent through various means are both humbling and inspiring. To all of  my readers I want to sincerely say, Thank You! You Rock!

I have some aspirations for 2012 on the blog. I hope to share posts that you can connect with and that are Christ exalting, personally encouraging, and scripturally relevant. Starting this week I will be posting a little more often. Keep a watch out for the addition of a mid-week mini post called Only 10.

So that's looking ahead, now for a look at where we've  been. These are the top then blog posts from 2011. Do you remember any of these?

1. 10 Things Leadership Is NOT
(May 19, 2011)- This blog is a companion to a post by Jen Smidt 10 Things Submission is NOT. Both were featured on Tim Challies' blog which probably is the main reason this one came in as most read. Thanks Tim!
2. How to Lose Friends and Irritate People
(February 21. 2011)- A parody of what will likely never be a best seller. But it was a well liked post none the less.
3. Sarcasm in Marriage- A Bad Combination
 (February 7, 2011)- Sarcasm is most often used to vent frustration, to dominate, or to make a cutting point. If it is humor is humor often mixed with very bad motives.  
4. A Lesson From Walking Trees
(July 25, 2011)- You and I may see better than we did a few years ago but our vision is still not fully focused in all things. We still need our thinking pushed a bit. Challenged. Sharpened. 
5. 19 Years
(March 28, 2011)- Posted on our 19th wedding anniversary. What 19 years has taught me.
6. The Road Behind, The Road Ahead
(September 19, 2011)- This guest post by April Troupe shares 3 victories from her own marriage.
7. Three Things I Learned from Quitting Facebook
(March 21, 2011)- Here is a post I probably need to review yearly. Good things learned here.
8. Christians and Planking
(November 7, 2011)- The title caught many people's attention. I guess we really want to know the Christian perspective on all things. 
9. Assumptions
(August 1, 2011)- Assuming you know the motives, thoughts, and intentions of others halts your attempts to know and understand them better. We've got to stop doing this. 
10. Three Motives that Fight Love
(September 12, 2011)- I have seen all three of these in me more often then I would like. Good things here to remember.

My Thoughts on Real Marriage

The review for this book has been challenging for me. I crafted three different reviews before landing on this one and much of this one was cut out to keep it a readable length. I had hoped to avoid writing a review based mainly on one chapter of a book but after wrestling with it for a while I realized it was unavoidable.

Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll is their contribution to a topic widely written on, namely marriage. However their approach to the topic is very different than most marriage books I have read. Perhaps that was their point. True to his form Mark’s “spade a spade” approach to life is not softened much by bringing his wife in as a writing companion.

The book is topically broken up into three parts but I found them, from the reader's perspective, to be rather incohesive.

Part one entitled "Marriage" speaks mainly of the need for husbands and wives to be friends. They encourage couples to foster honesty and openness and to maintain friendship through regular “date nights”. Mark writes a chapter to men on honoring their wives which I found to be a bit bromidic.  However Grace’s chapter to wives on the subject of respecting their husbands offered wise and practical helps that brought specific challenge to me personally.  Of the five chapters in this section the one that stood out to me the most was the chapter entitled “Taking out the Trash”. In this chapter the Driscolls bring the gospel to life. They helpfully address the need for forgiveness and repentance in marriage and how the struggles we face are gospel issues and Jesus Christ is the only hope; “Sin is the problem. The gospel of Jesus Christ is the answer.” This was the best chapter in this section and maybe even in the entire book. Overall this section does have many practical helps and advice but it lacked depth and probably could have been summed up in a mini-book. But if you are looking for some quotes that pack a punch you will find them in that section.

Part two is suitably entitled "Sex". This is where the book takes a concerning turn in my opinion. Although sex is a topic appropriate for a marriage book the approach and the amount of detail given to the subject seemed over the top (Driscollesque I suppose). Over the course of the next 5 chapters the Driscolls discuss topics often only talked about in the most private of settings. They dive into issues of abuse (using Grace’s own story), wrong views of sex, pornography, selfish vs. servant loving (pulling this time from Mark’s story), and lastly the most controversial of chapters titled “Can we____?” It is this section and specifically that chapter where I have significant concern.

While there are particular truths and helpful statistics in this section of the book, there is also much that seems inappropriate even for a marriage book. Besides what seems to be a lack of discernment in discussing such private subjects publically, the use of 1 Corinthians 6:12 to explore what married couples can and cannot do seems contextually liberal.  Using this verse, the Driscolls, discuss very sensitive issues under three questions: Is it lawful? Is it helpful? Is it enslaving?  While this verse can be an excellent guide and gauge it is not exhaustive enough to be the sole compass to navigate such sensitive areas discussed in this book. When you are looking at something as relational as sex there are more specific scripture that will ask deeper questions.  Does it glorify God (1Cor. 10:31)? Does it honor the marriage bed (Heb.13:4)? Does it help me fulfill the 1^st and 2^nd great commandments (Matt22:237-39)? To name only a few. In addition the Driscolls allow personal conscience to be a determining factor to answer the question “Is it helpful?” Our consciences are not free from the effect and influence of sin and so to allow freedom of conscience to determine if something is permissible is unwise.  But a significant area of concern comes from the reality that this chapter does not address what is motivating the question “Can we ____?”  The motive of the heart is left out of why a couple would be seeking to engage in some of the sexual acts in this book. Avoiding the issue of motives of the heart will often allow sin to go uncovered.  Leaving that key component out opens up opportunity for significant misunderstanding and hurt in a relationship. 

My concern is that this chapter will draw couples who are struggling in this area.  They may come to it looking for help in the safe and private walls of a book when in reality some one-on-one counsel with a wise and experienced biblical counselor may be more what they need (both as a couple and individually). I am also concerned that the application of this chapter may lead to more harm than good in marriages due to a lack of taking a significant heart check on the issue.

The third section of the book confused me. It is titled "The Last Day". It gives encouragement to look not to the first day of marriage but to the last. It then rolls out to be something like a homework assignment you would get from a life coach. Following such revealing and deep issues addressed in the previous chapter not only did it feel like a jolt in subject but seemed far from where a couple would care to go after the topics just addressed. I believe this chapter would have been more suited for an appendix item rather than a concluding chapter, which basically means the book had no ending. No real direction. No final concrete application of truth to hold on to. It just kind of left me feeling a little unsure.

The book has wisdom in it and there are things to be learned from it here and there. The statistics alone were insightful and Mark’s direct approach to the effects of pornography is spot on. But the value of it is not outweighed by the indelicate approach to the topic of sex and that makes me not recommend it. 

As a biblical counselor I know that much of what they addresses in this book is sadly all too common even in Christian marriages. Our tendency is to just be silent and pretend we are not effected. I am not promoting silence but at the same time I certainly would not encourage people to author books about most things that come up in the counseling room. There are appropriate places to discuss private issues and even then discretion must be considered. 

As a woman there were times I felt the delivery of some of the content was bordering on crude.  

As a wife I am not going to pass this one on to my husband although I read many parts to him to get his thoughts. They raised similar concerns in him. 

As a mother of teen children (who read this blog) I will not be leaving this book around on the coffee table.

As a Christian I greatly appreciate the Driscolls' integrity to the gospel and I respect their willingness to be so honest with their struggle. I have misgivings about some of their interpretation of Scripture as well as the use of their influence to speak so unashamedly to things that just might fall under things too "shameful even to mention". 

Forget "Read the Bible in One Year"

As the new year quickly approaches many Christians feel compelled to attempt to read through the Bible in one year. Admittedly, the start of a new year does seem like an appropriate place to start. Despite the title of this post, I am not knocking reading through the Bible in a year. I believe strongly in reading through the entire Bible (I have done it myself), but I also think resolving to read it through in one year can be a bad idea for some people.

Here is my concern. Based on one statistical research group, only 8% of those who make resolves for the new year actually accomplish them. So of all the people making resolutions for the new year most will fail. And most of that failure happens before February! The reasons range from unrealistic expectations to just the reality that we are surrounded by temptation and distraction. So where does that leave us? Should we just throw up our hands and admit we are probably part of the 92% failures? Not yet.

So what then? I propose that you forget reading through the entire Bible in one year and instead resolve to just read the Bible faithfully this year. The sad fact is that many Christians don't even read their Bibles every day. Most people check their email and Facebook daily but cannot find the time to squeeze in a verse or two. So this year, as you feel your need for more interaction with your Savior's words to you, resolve simply to read. Here are three simple tips to help you do this so that this also does not end up on the failure pile.

• A Plan- One thing those super-motivated-read-though-the-Bible-in-a-year-people do have going for them is a plan. This is probably one of the biggest factors to reaching your goal. While there are numerous plans for reading through the Bible in one year there are not so many plans that just help you read your Bible faithfully. But a plan is a must. Create a plan that fits your lifestyle. What time of day works best to fit in reading? What book of the Bible have you really wanted to read through? For those who have no idea consider the Psalms or some of the smaller books of the New Testament (Galatians, Ephesians, Phillipians, or Collosians). Do you like books that read like a story? Consider I and II Kings. But get a plan and write it down.

• A Place- This is very important to create a setting for success. Pick a place you know you will be and use that place as your reading spot. Maybe it is at the table with your morning coffee. Maybe at night before you sleep. Perhaps it is on the train on your morning commute. For some people who find it nearly impossible to ever just stop and sit for a minute, maybe the bathroom is your place (sorry for the visual here). Find a place and designate it as your reading spot and put your Bible there or place a reminder for you so that when you show up there you will remember that is your reading place.

• A Person- This is probably the most important tip. Read faithfully with someone. Connect with someone and ask them if you can read the Bible with them. If you are married then your spouse may be the best person since you see them everyday. But don't think you have to be physically present with someone to be reading with them daily. The internet makes people available to us right at our fingertips. You can read with someone and connect through a simple text message. Keep it simple. I read through a couple books of the Bible with a friend and we never met face to face through the entire reading. We connected via email, and text and shared thoughts or just simply texted "read it" for that day. But a getting another person to help you increases your chances of success. 

My hope is that with a more realistic expectation for your reading you will end up in the 8% and will have found that 2012 was a year of faithful Bible reading for you!

**Here is an excellent resource that can help you work up a plan and encourages reading the Bible with someone. It is an inexpensive little book called:

One to One Bible Reading a simple guide for every Christian by David Helm. 

"Return to me." From a Command to a Promise

From a COMMAND to a PROMISE

I have blotted out your transgressions like a cloud and your sins like mist;return to me, for I have redeemed you. (Isaiah 44:22)

Therefore say to them, Thus declares the LORD of hosts: Return to me, says the LORD of hosts, and I will return to you, says the LORD of hosts.(Zechariah 1:3)

From the days of your fathers you have turned aside from my statutes and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you, says the LORD of hosts.(Malachi 3:7) 

Each of these passages of scriptures give the command to return to the Lord. God himself calls us to return. Returning to the Lord is not a one time act when someone comes to faith but is also for those who are already Christians. Because sin has a blinding effect it is easy (even for the Christian) to fall into significant sin or sin patterns. The call to return goes out to God's children. Repentance needs to be a common thread in our lives. No one would say they are without sin so this command is for everyone- as is the promise attached to it. Our sin separates us from God. Are you feeling distant? Consider this:

"Have you repented? God looks upon you as if you had not offended. He becomes a friend, a father. He will now bring forth the best robe and put it on you. God is pacified toward you and will, with the father of the prodigal, fall upon your neck and kiss you...When a spring of repentance is open in the heart, a spring of mercy is open in heaven...Be as speedy in your repentance as you would have God speedy in his mercies."

(Thomas Watson- The Doctrine of repentance pp. 96, 97)

Reformation Trust Book Review (The Prince's Poison Cup)

The Prince's Poison Cup 
By R.C. Sproul
One thing I love about the Bible is that it reminds me of Christ’s willingness to patiently teach his followers. Christ told many stories with purpose and perhaps that is part of the reason why this book has such charm. In this story a loving grandfather takes the time to sit with his little grand-daughter to tell a story that has value beyond her current questions. But this is more than just a child’s allegory. The Poison Cup is a parabolic gospel story.

It is a story of a great King and his love for the people in his kingdom. The people of the kingdom begin to question the King's plans. Then one day, with the influence of a deceptive man in a dark cloak, they disobey the King and their love for the King grows cold. From that point on the book describes a parallel picture of the effect of sin in our own hearts and our state of darkness. The story does a beautiful job of revealing the need for rescue from this terrible state. It goes on to bring in a new character. The King’s son. From that point the message of the cross is brought to light through the way the King’s son intervenes for the people.

Not only is the story engaging but the illustrations are appealing too. Although I could not help connecting the resemblance that grandpa had to Mr. Monopoly  (you'll have to decide). Over all the book is an engaging way to help children capture the message of the cross through a story. It also contains helps for parents in the back, allowing them to use this story for its intended purpose.

My favorite part of the book was seeing who the first person was that begins to trust in the King and the King’s son once again. No spoiler here...you will have to read it yourself!

WANT A FREE COPY OF THIS BOOK?

Reformation books has offered me a free copy of this book in exchange for this review. I would like to give that copy away to one of my readers. If you want this book simply leave a comment in the comment section below stating "I want this book". I will keep the comments open until the end of this month (December 2011) and at that time will randomly pick one person to receive the free copy of this book. Allow 6 weeks to receive the book.

Mind Your Own Business

Let us never measure our religion by that of others and think we are doing enough if we have gone beyond our neighbors. This is another snare of the devil. Let us mind our own business. "What is that to you?" said our Master on a certain occasion, "Follow thou Me" (John 21:22). 

• Let us follow on, aiming at nothing short of perfection.
• Let us follow on, making Christ’s life and character our only pattern and example. 
• Let us follow on, remembering daily that at our best we are miserable sinners.
• Let us follow on, and never forget that it signifies nothing whether we are better than others or not. 

At our very best we are far worse than we ought to be. There will always be room for improvement in us. We shall be debtors to Christ’s mercy and grace to the very last. Then let us leave off looking at others and comparing ourselves with others. We shall find enough to do if we look at our own hearts.

(J.C. Ryle -Holiness page 117)

God is all about God. (Ego Trip or Divine Supremacy?)

I remember, many years ago in our early days of home schooling, teaching my little boy Science. Something in one lesson came as a big surprise to him. In his young perspective he thought the sun went around the earth. In his thinking, the sun's rising and setting was a result of it going around the earth. He was surprised to learn that the sun was not circling the earth as he thought but it is instead the sun that is at the center and the earth is actually the one going around the sun. I could understand his confusion. The Earth seemed so big and the sun so small and far away. The Earth seemed so important and the sun seemed only like one of its accoutrements. But as his perspective was broadened he began to see reality. And his view of the sun grew.

We can be like this; diminutive in our thinking. We can have a narrow view of life and believe it is all about ourselves. Ultimately thinking things are about us and our comfort, our happiness, our goals, our dreams, our success. But this is up-side-down thinking in reality and our view needs to be broadened. This life is not about us but about the one who made us. Does this bother you? It is probably because you are basing things on a false perspective.

So why is this so important? Because if we get this wrong then our view of God is not just too small but our view of ourselves is too big. And when this happens then we will begin to questions why things aren't turning out the way we want. When things become about us then we will be angry when we experience difficulties and things that don't go as planned. We will question if God is good because our expectations are not being met. We will get weighed down in wondering why God is not promoting our aspirations. Yet here is the reality:

"God ultimately is about God.  Yes He loves you, yes He provides for you and yes He cares for you, but the motivation behind that provision, care and love is the glory of His name and the worship of His perfection. So ultimately, you are not the center of the universe; God is. And although that offends our modern sensibilities, our greatest hope in the world is wrapped up in God being about God and about the praise of His glorious grace." (From God Saves, Matt Chandler sermon)

If this is true then is it just some kind of divine ego trip? Not at all, because if God were to be anything less then the center, anything less then the ultimate, if he were to share his glory with anyone or anything then he would cease to be God. The fact that he is supreme and that all things are centered around him is what affirms to us that he is God. Just as my son's view had to be broadened to understand the Earth's dependence on the sun so our view must be broadened to understand our dependence on an all sovereign God. Ego trip or Divine Supremacy? The answer depends on your perspective. Make sure you have your facts straight.

Something you may not know about me...

Here is a bit of information most people don't know about me. For over a year now I have been meeting with a small group of ladies at 5:30 in the morning. We have one common goal. Prayer.

We meet twice a week in the living room of one of our homes. Nothing special, nothing formal. Getting up that early to be at a prayer meeting is no easy task but it has been one of the most rewarding things I have taken part in. Why? Because after a year of praying faithfully with these ladies we have grown closer to the Lord and closer to each other. We have cried out to God together and he has listened and responded. Our faith has grown, our has vision expanded, and our hearts have been united.

As I said, it is no easy task to be up, ready, and alert enough to pray at that hour in the morning. Between all of us there are represented 6 families and 21 children (from infants to teens). We have a lot of reason to be too tired, too busy, or too overwhelmed. But all the more reason we need to pray! I came across these helpful tips with regard to prayer that I think our group would agree are significant in making prayer actually happen in our lives. I need each one of these things because prayer isn't something I will ever arrive in but instead continue to strive in (Romans 15:30). Do you want to grow in prayer? Consider these helpful and practical tips from A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller pp.50-51 (my comments in parentheses):

• Get to bed. What you do in the evening will shape your morning. If you want to pray in the morning, then plan your evening so you don't stay up too late. The evening and the morning are connected.
• Get up. Praying in bed is wonderful. In fact, the more you pray out of bed the more you'll pray in bed. But you'll never develop morning prayer time in bed. Some of my richest prayer times are at night. I'll wake up praying. But those prayer times only began to emerge because I got out of bed to pray.
• Get awake. Maybe you need to make a pot of coffee first or take a shower. (Coffee yes! Some of these ladies actually go to the gym before prayer...you do the math to think about what time they are getting up!)
• Get a quiet place. Maybe a room, a chair, or a place with a view. Or maybe you do better going for a walk. Make sure that no one can interrupt you. 
• Get comfortable. Don't feel like you have to pray on your knees. For years I was hindered from praying because I found it so uncomfortable to pray on my knees. (Comfort is something we don't avoid. Cozy PJ's are not an uncommon sight at our prayer meetings. Some of my favorite prayer times have been around a warm fire on the dark winter mornings.)
• Get going. Start with just five minutes. Star with a small goal that you can attain rather than something heroic. You'll quickly find that time will fly. (Having sent our requests the night before, we usually jump right into praying because this is very true.)
• Keep going. Consistency is more important than length. If you pray five minutes every day, then the length of time will slowly grow. You'll look up and discover that twenty minutes have gone by. (This is also very true, the time and the place we meet are consistent. This helps us all stay on track. I can probably count on one hand how many times we have missed prayer over the past year. Consistency here has had a profound effect on the consistency in my own personal prayer life as well.)

Regardless of how or when you pray, if you give God the space, he will touch your soul. God knows you are exhausted, but at that same time he longs to be a part of your life. A feast awaits.

Graveyards and Birthdays...thoughts on turning 39.

I really like graveyards and I am learning I am not alone in this so hopefully that makes it less disturbing.


This is something I didn't know about myself until I moved to the East Coast. Graveyards on the East Coast are very different from those on the West Coast. First of all they are often connected to a church (I cannot remember ever seeing a graveyard next to a church where I lived in California). There is just something right about being reminded of death every time you pass a church...and that ought to be a hopeful statement not a despairing one. Specifically I like graveyards because I can often find my name there! This may sound silly but since I don't have the most common name, finding it engraved on anything is a rarity for me. But not in graveyards. This probably has something to do with my old-fashion name, but it is still fun for me to search out and find my name etched into a stone that is often hundreds of years old.  So what else do I like about graveyards? They are quiet. Even on the busiest day at Arlington, one of our countries largest cemeteries, it is quiet. I love that. And in that quiet, passing all those graves, I find it easy to reflect on things that are often not thought of. The obvious being the brevity of life and the certainty of death. 100% of us die, it is a statistic we can count on being part of. So perhaps it deserves some significant thought. Today is my birthday. Along with graveyards, birthdays can also bring this same kind of reflection. So today I share with you a few thoughts that came to my mind as I celebrate 39 years of life.

You do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a time and then vanishes. 

James 4:14

So teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 

Psalm 90:12

Jesus said, "I am the Resurrection and the life, whoever believes in me, though he dies, yet he shall live." 

John 11:25

Christians and "Planking"

"Planking" has been a new craze this year. For those of you who do not know what planking is let me explain briefly for the sake of understanding this post. Simply put planking is the act of lying face down for a photograph. It has been a growing hit since early this year, mainly among social media websites. It may sound like a silly thing but if you ask your average teenager (of which I have three!) if they know what "planking" is chances are they do. Setting your opinion aside, the Bible actually endorses planking...of a different sort!


Consider this passage found in the book of Luke-

"How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

This is a type of "planking" we must actively engage in. How are you doing with it? It is a sad truth that we can be very scrupulous when it comes to seeing sins and short comings in others but we barely and rarely see our own.

One thing that can help you get the plank out of your own eye is to suspect yourself. Specifically when you are in conflict with another person. When friction rises in your relationship what is your first inclination? If you are like me it is to consider how wrong the other person is acting or thinking. And then how right my actions are. Instead, begin by asking a few questions. "What might I have brought to this conflict that is offensive or aggravating?" or "What might I not be seeing about myself or my desires right now?"

I am told this new fad called "planking" originated in Australia where it was called the "Laying Down Game" . Perhaps that is even a better description of what we are called to! In conflict how are you going about "Planking"? Are you laying yourself down? Do you need to remove the plank from your own eye?

Perhaps next I should consider Tebowing :)

Two questions you must answer.

Bitterness:

What will it cost you to hold on to this?

What will it cost your relationships to hold on to this?

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy (bitterness) rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30

Never, never, never!

I Will Never Forsake You...
Our translation does not convey the full force of the original. It is hardly possible in English to give the full weight of the Greek. We might freely translate it, "He has said, I will never, never, never leave you; I will never, never, never forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).

Loneliness is a feeling that none of us delight in. Solitude may have some charm, but those who are forced to be her captives have not discovered it. A transient solitude may give pleasure, but to be alone, utterly alone, is terrible. To be alone without God is such a horrific loneliness that I defy the lip even of a damned spirit to express the horror and anguish that must be concentrated in it.

Thank God that you and I by this promise are taught that we never will know the desperate loneliness of being forsaken by God. Yet this is what it would be if He should forsake us.

Taken from Beside Still Waters page 321.

"That soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake,

I will never, no never, no never forsake."

An Unsuspecting Look at Criticism

I am the first to admit I hate to be criticized. I revel in the approval of others, but criticism can be just what I need. Ouch. That's just hard to type! If I am surrounding myself only with people who will agree with me I am building up a kingdom where my opinion reigns. This may be very comfortable but it is scripture says it is a curse. We all need wise people speaking correction and even criticism into our lives.

Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets. Luke 6:26

Any criticism is hard for me to take. I’d much rather be commended than corrected, praised than rebuked. I’d much rather judge than be judged! And I do not think
that I am alone in this. The more I listen, the more I hear the dynamic of defensiveness against criticism. In counseling, I see it in the humorous way a couple will be diverted from the issue at hand to debate who said what, when, and where. Or in how people debate back and forth as to whether it was a Tuesday or a Wednesday when they did something. Why do we expend so much time and energy swatting at these flies with sledgehammers? Why are our hearts and minds so instantly engaged and our emotions surging with great vigor in our defense? The answer is simple. These issues are not minor or insignificant. We defend that which we deem of great value. We think it is our life we are saving. We believe something much larger will be lost if we do not use every means to rescue it. Our name, our reputation, our honor, our glory.
                                      - The Cross and Criticism by Alfred J. Poirie

Let a righteous man strike me--it is a kindness; let him rebuke me--it is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it. 

Psalm 141:5

What are you doing with criticism?
Where do you go with it?
Where does it take you?

Why Pray for Others?

Do you pray for others? Perhaps you would quickly answer yes to this but upon further consideration  you would admit that you may send up flare prayers for others but it has been a long time since you committed to really pray consistently and faithfully for the needs of others. Maybe you have lost motivation as the need lingers on. Or perhaps you have lost hope seeing no change in sight. Let these little reminders reignite your faithfulness to pray for others. Why pray for others? Because...

God hears:
Psalm 34:17 The righteous cries out and the Lord hears him...
The "righteous" does not mean someone who is perfected and free from sin but instead someone who has been redeemed by the Lord; a person loved by God and set apart for his purposes. When you are a child of God your prayers are heard by him. You can go to God on the behalf of others and know that you are heard. This brings great hope as we seek the Lord for the salvation and help of those who do not walk with him.


It blesses others:
Mark 2:5 And when Jesus saw their faith he said to the paralytic, "My son your sins are forgiven."
In this circumstance Jesus was preaching in a house and there was no more room in the house or even at the door. Some friends were bringing their paralyzed friend to see Jesus in hopes of healing. They had heard of the supernatural works Jesus was doing and they were sure if Jesus touched the man he would be healed. When they saw there was no room to get in, their faith motivated them to go to extreme lengths to get that man to Jesus. Not being halted by obstacles, they climbed the roof, dismantled it, and lowered the man down. They relentlessly brought this man to Jesus and because of their faith, it says, he was healed. Your faithfulness to bring others to Jesus in prayer can lead to their blessing.

It blesses you:
Job 42:10 And the Lord restored the fortunes of Job when he prayed for his friends.
Certainly Job's blessing was not dependent on his prayers for his friends but the scripture clearly makes the point that praying for others can result in blessings upon you. In this particular situation Job's "friends" were earlier described as "miserable comforters" (Job 16:2) and yet now he prays for them. Something happens in our disposition toward others when we begin to sincerely pray for them and often times it results in unexpected personal blessing. That blessing may be tangible or it may be the even greater blessing of a heart conformed more to love like Christ.

May these reasons motivate you to faithfully pray for others today...or even right now.